Build Em Up: Confidence in Motherhood

build em up

This topic has me stumped.  Am I confident in my choices about motherhood?  Are we ever fully confident? I always feel the need to explain my decisions. Am I trying to rationalize my choices and convince myself of my decision? Am I too concerned about what others think? Am I too introspective?

Or maybe I am too confident in my decisions? When other moms passionately display their choices for the entire world to see (via facebook or blogging or wherever), if it is different from my choices, I get fired up. Is that normal?  I feel like it is an attack against me, and I take it personally. In order to preserve some friendships, I’ve had to keep my mouth shut.

Example: Do I feel like God created all women to stay at home with their kids? Absolutely not. Do I think God created some women to stay at home with their kids? Yes. Do I think the outline of a godly woman in Proverbs 31 tells all women to stay at home? I don’t. But that’s just me. No judgment to others!

My husband and I have made some unpopular decisions concerning our parenting. The biggest one is our decision on vaccinations for our children. Another unpopular thought we’ve had (it’s not a decision because it won’t happen for a few years) is the possibility of homeschooling.

Vaccinations and homeschooling are two topics that people get VERY passionate about. Likewise, I am very passionate about them. The opposing view can be yelled at me or whispered softly to me, but it won’t change my thoughts and my decisions. It’s kinda like politics. Let’s just not talk about politics because although you may think you have this great wealth of knowledge and the ability to “educate” me, I am not changing my mind. I’ve done my research and I’m confident in my views, however absurd they may seem to you.

Back to motherhood…

Rather than rationalize things, here are things I am confident about that may be different from others (and that’s okay!):

  • I am confident in my choice on vaccinations.
  • I am confident in my choice to still have girls nights and date nights and get out of my house and have a life outside of my children.
  • I am confident in my choice to work four days a week.
  • I am confident in my choice to feed my son mostly healthy food, but let him enjoy some of life’s pleasures

But am I confident about how I’ve potty trained my son? No.

Am I confident in my decisions about discipline? No. We are still working on this!

I saw a little post on facebook recently about motherhood and our choices and thought I would share it in case you haven’t seen it.

  • To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
  • To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
  • To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
  • To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
  • To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

What things are you confident about in motherhood? What are you not so confident about?

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2 Responses to Build Em Up: Confidence in Motherhood

  1. Nora says:

    Being a stepmom I don’t feel like I’m ever doing the right thing… either overstepping or not being involved enough in all aspects of the girls lives when they are with us. It’s so hard sometimes!

    Having many friends with kids and being a parent in a way myself, I’ve learned this: we all do things our way, based upon our own morals, values, ideals, how we were raised and there is no one right answer to any of the parenting questions. We all have to do what is in our heart and in our gut!
    Nora recently posted…Past, Present, FutureMy Profile

  2. Whitney says:

    I stopped by your blog purely because of your name; growing up in Chicago, my grandma and her 6 BFF’s were all “J” names and to this day, still call each other the 6 Js! But I’m glad I did read your blog because I agree with your sentiments and am encouraged to hear about other mom’s triumphs. Thank you :)

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